textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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