If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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