I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Let's get the cat blown out
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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