he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
