dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
