I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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