The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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