He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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