Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
