I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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