He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
