apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My liver just had a heart attack.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
