are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
