She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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