Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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