I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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