I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
