in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
