I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
