Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
