Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
