Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
