I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
