i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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