Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
