i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
