okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
