i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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