I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
