so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
