What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
