I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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