It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
