I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
