eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
