I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
