Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
