Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
