I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
