DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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