i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
