8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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