Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
