But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
