So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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