All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it's like iHOP with fire
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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