hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize