It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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