it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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