So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
