It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize