Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
