I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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