I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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