i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
