Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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