she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
