So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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