Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
