my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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