I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
