He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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