I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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