Whod you bang
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
