some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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