This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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