When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
