"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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