the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The police scanner is talking about you again....
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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