I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Nobody cheats on THIS.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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