We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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