I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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