btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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