I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
