did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
